Saturday, 2 January 2010

Told you i'd be posting again soon ;)

My stomach hurts... feels like i've been kicked in the stomach repeatedly. Like i've eaten something bad and my stomach has cramped.

Well.. yes i ate something bad.. i ate too much thats what was bad. I spent half an hour with my head down the toilet until i brought up blood.. and you know what... Im proud. Dont you just love that empty pain in your stomach when theres nothing left? Fuck me it sends me on a high.

Although im paying for it now, purging sends my breathing really bad but fuck it its a price to pay. I wanna quit the steroids im on, but whats all this pain for if im dead?

i've an endoscopy coming up in 2 weeks. i might have to cancel. my gastroenterologist thinks im not purging... haha think she'l have a shock when the endoscopist shoves the tube down my throat and sees the red raw stomach lining and osophagus.. i might have to leave it for a bit.. who knows