Sunday, 20 September 2009

New start.

At the moment.. im feeling quite pissed with myself. I have just been so stressed i haven't been restricting, i havent cared as much what goes into my fat gob and i havent exercised as much as i should have.. or really at all.. I have been quite unwell so its not been really possible.. but is that just excuses?

Im starting to feel suicidal over my weight. Well that and aload of other things. Im quite on edge at the moment, a new friend of mine works with adults with mental health problems and i have to see a psychologist on the 6th october.. although i did ask for it.. im now wondering if its such a good idea.

Im starting a fresh. From 2moro morning. Although i havent the energy or it will also probably kill me to go into the exercise i used to do at night right at the moment i will start tomorrow with my dieting- less time eating is more time to study. Not sure how im gonna cope- im going back to college tomorrow and gonna start heavily restricting again, my energy levels are going to dip even more and i have to sit and focus through equality, rights and diversity, personal and professional development and ICT.. although lessons are only 1 hour 30 mins long im still gonna find it hard to concentrate, especially when im struggling with my work so much.

Im gonna have to start posting here more often, calorie intake, pictures of me. I've let myself slip and i need to kick my arse back into shape.

Im gonna go look at some thinspo.. feeling rather low right now :(

1 comment:

  1. I am ill at the moment, maybe I'm using that as an exuse too, I don't know.
    I'm sure seeing a phycologist is a good idea, if your feeling suicidal, I hope you start to feel better soon.
    I'm sorry your a bit down, college with be tiring and such with all the work,
    I know things will get better :) don't worry.