pro-active day?

Today has been so good. Not sure how i kept up, my exercise level has dropped quite alot lately- i have not been able to do much and upped my medication but today completed my martial art class- 1.5 hours long and burnt around 1000 cals in that. Then got home and was arguing with dad so went for a short run an it was getting dark anyway. When i came back i managed to collapse and throw up... great?!?

Then though however dad made me eat, stir fry and it was quite alot.. he's seen that im skipping meals and considering i have such a big event on saturday he made me eat it all.. on sunday im so excited because im going to view a horse to see about getting and he said i couldnt go to see him if i didnt eat it.

I ate it.. stupid me. But have been busy in my bedroom exercising so feeling a bit better for that.. But feeling crap.

Im feeling quite like a failure at the moment. Im freezing cold and fat. I have carpeted flooring in my room so cant weigh myself until tomorrow when i can take my scales down stairs. It sucks.

Im feeling really low. Im a looser. Im a failure :(